Watering the flowers – a guide to find healing and hope after losing a baby

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Grieving for a baby lost in your womb is inexplicable to anyone who has not been through it. You will feel lost and broken. Lonely and angry. Numb and confused. Desperate and heartbroken.


Hearing stories from other women who had lost and how they felt is one of the things that helped me the most. It helped me feel less alone knowing that others had been there before me and had survived to find the light again. I felt like they could endure this, then maybe I could too.


I’ve felt lost to grief. I’ve felt like giving up. I’ve spent hours desperately searching for an answer to stop the pain. I’ve raged with anger. I’ve ugly cried and screamed and felt unable to get out of bed. Maybe you’ve felt like this too? I hope that in these moments, this book can be a comfort to you. I hope my words (and those of the other women who share within this book) might hold your hand and your heart through your darkest places.


This book is not about overcoming the grief of losing a baby. It’s about finding a way to go on living a full life anyway. It’s about finding a way to heal your heart so that you can create a life that makes you happy, not in spite of your losses but because of them.



healing and hope after losing a baby


Watering the Flowers – find healing and hope after losing a baby is written in four parts. 

Part One shares my personal story. I’ve attempted to write as honestly and openly as I can about my experience and feelings after losing our babies.  This part was written over a couple of years. It starts not long after the loss of our second baby and spans almost two years of our journey. Many of the words in this section come straight from my journal.

I share my reflections and feelings from within the raw pain of loss, and of the days, months and even years that follow. While there has been some editing to make it legible, I have tried not to edit how I felt in the moment so that perhaps you can find a little of yourself in my words. 


In Part Two you will find stories from women in my community. Strong, brave, incredible women who reached out to me in my darkest moments to lend their light when I had none. In this section I share their stories of hope and survival. 


In Part Three you’ll find my advice on some of the trickier parts of living after losing a baby. I’ve tried to speak to areas I struggled with the most and looked for information on in the early days. I hope that you can approach this section like advice from a friend.  Take it or leave it.  Use what resonates and leave the rest. 


Part Four is a mini-course of words and practices to help you through the first 40 days.  

Journalling and self-reflection has been an incredibly important part of my healing. I started writing every morning before I would start my day. It really helped to give me the space to work through my grief. Writing helped to get ‘the madness’ out of my head and heart, before my days of having to ‘get on with it’ started.

These prompts will help you to connect with yourself and your grief every day. This can be confronting at first.  But I’ve found that you either give grief the attention it wants or it will pop up elsewhere in your life and demand it. 


healing and hope after losing a baby

3 reviews for Watering the flowers – a guide to find healing and hope after losing a baby

  1. Samantha

    This book was just what I needed when feeling lost in our fertility journey. I first discovered Bettina’s yoga course which I found very helpful. She is a ray of sunshine that gave me hope after two miscarriages. I marked up my book, went back to certain phrases and mantras that struck me and use the book to refer back to often. I can’t recommend this enough if you are struggling to find the bright side, know you aren’t alone and find ways to cope and heal.

  2. Sheryl

    Going through back to back fertility treatments and having each one fail, I was really struggling to come to terms with the great possibility that my husband and I were never going to become parents. It was serendipitous that Bettina’s book was introduced to me because it has been and continues to be instrumental in helping me to heal and gently move forward with life.
    Reading her story of multiple losses was hard to do without shedding a few tears, just because her thoughts and feelings mirrored so much of my own experience. At the same time though, I felt a sense of comfort knowing that someone out there understood the heartbreak I felt and I wasn’t alone.

    When you’re in the midst of grief, it’s easy to feel lost and broken. I found Bettina’s advice for healing so valuable, I liked that all of her suggestions came from a genuine place, stemming from her own personal journey. She shares plenty of ways to cope with negative thoughts, feelings and circumstances and also ways to build your body, mind and spirit so that you can carry on with life, regardless of what happens.

  3. Alessia Caiazza

    I wish I had this book straight away when I experienced my miscarriages. I have just finished it and I feel like I been through a sort of therapy and I also gained a new friend. A friend that really knows what I been through, what I feel, what it is to grief a for a baby that wasn’t nothing for the world but that was a world for me (three times). I hope @bettinarae knows how important she is been in my healing process, a process that still a work in progress but feels less scary with her hand in mine, that’s why I decided to write this post, to let her know and to make her known to other women that are in my same situation.
    The book is called “Watering the Flowers” by Bettina Rae
    Here her website too: http://www.bettinarae.com
    She also have a YouTube account where you can find meditations and yoga, please, if you are experiencing fertility issue or a miscarriage/still born reach out to her book and I promise you, you will not be alone anymore.

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