5 ways to connect with your baby during pregnancy
We often think of pregnancy as being a magical time filled with anticipation, excitement, and love. But when you’re struggling to connect with your baby during pregnancy, you’re more likely feeling confused and anxious that something might be wrong.
Let me reassure you that you’re not the only one who feels this way. Many women struggle to connect during pregnancy and even once baby arrives it can take some time before you feel that bond.
How I struggled to connect during pregnancy
After having three losses in 12 months, taking an 8 month break from trying to conceive, then falling pregnant again; I struggled to connect to that baby (who I can happily report is now our crazy 5 year old son Luca).
At the time, connecting felt scary. I was protecting my heart by letting myself be a little distant, especially in the early days of pregnancy. It wasn’t until the third trimester that I started letting myself connect in. Though in hindsight I didn’t feel fully connected until he was born.
You don’t need a reason why you’re struggling to connect with your baby during pregnancy. It’s okay if there is no obvious reason and you’re just not feeling it yet. Give yourself the grace to let this experience of pregnancy be whatever it needs to be.
5 ways to connect with your baby
1. Let go of your expectations
Many of the women I work with 1:1 find the most challenging part of feeling connected during pregnancy is allowing yourself to let go of what you expect it should feel like. So while I will share practises that can encourage connection, I want you to first just allow yourself to experience pregnancy in this moment, however that looks like for you.
Stop trying to feel joyful and excited, if that isn’t true for you. Let go of feeling like you need to feel an intuitive connection to your baby. You don’t. And none of this says anything about how you will be as a Mother.
You’re allowed to just feel pregnant. Swollen. Tired. Sick. And maybe also a little bit apprehensive about everything that’s happening to you. I’ve created this guided pregnancy meditation below to allow you to practise just being in this moment, without all the expectations of being able to connect with your baby during pregnancy.
2. Talk or sing to your baby
From around 27 weeks your baby can hear your voice from the womb. While you might feel a bit strange at first, try talking or singing to them when you have a quiet moment on your own. If you don’t know what to say, just sing your favourite songs. Your baby will be soothed by the sound of your voice and hopefully this will feel like a positive thing you can do with your baby to help you to connect.
3. Use your body to connect with your baby during pregnancy
Any practices that help you to feel connected to your body, will also help you feel connected to your baby. Yoga and meditation are obviously great options, but so too are other self-care rituals like relaxing baths and self-massage. Any type of movement that feels good in your body; walking, dancing etc that you can do while being mindful of your body, can also be helpful in feeling more connected to your baby.
4. Visualise your baby
Visualisation can be an another helpful tool to help you connect with your baby during pregnancy. Close your eyes and visualise your baby within you. Imagine your baby’s movements, their features, or even just a feeling of their energy. There is no right or wrong way to practise visualisation.
You could imagine those moments you’re looking forward to; like holding your baby for the first time or rocking them to sleep. Making time to practise visualisation can help those of us who struggle to connect start creating a feeling of connection with our baby.
5. Start a pregnancy journal
If you feel strange talking out loud to your baby, writing in a journal can feel like a safer way to connect with your baby during pregnancy. Write without expectation that they’re ever going to read your words. This journal is simply a practice for you to write out all your thoughts about pregnancy, and help you to feel connected to the changes that are happening for you.
Where to now to help you connect with your baby during pregnancy?
- Practise a pregnancy yoga class with me on my Youtube channel to help you connect.
- Download my free pregnancy yoga guide.
- Join my Online Yoga Circle community to connect with other Mums-to-be who’ll also have great ideas about how to connect with your baby during pregnancy.