Reflections, lessons and love from the first round of VIVE

lessons and love


The first round of VIVE has officially ended and while I’m feeling like the start of the year has had me running on a treadmill to keep up, I am SO proud of how it went.


In case you’re all like “What is VIVE?” Check out the video below and then read on if you’d like to know what I learned creating and running it and how it all went down for my first round of online students.



Going into sharing this course I knew that the content was powerful.  I knew that these 21 lessons had the power to change how women felt about their roles in the family, because this is exactly what these lessons have done for me. I’ve only included the best bits of everything I’ve done and tried and what has helped me the most.


But my journey has been over five years now. So I have to admit, I had NO CLUE whether significant changes could be made in a 3 week period.  Yes I could have created a 6 week course, or longer. I did consider spreading it out over a longer period, but I also wanted the actual course to keep pumping and not lose that momentum that often happens around week 4 and 5 of starting anything new.


So for the first three weeks of this year the twenty women who enrolled in the first round of VIVE have been sharing incredibly vulnerable stories in our private Facebook group, making difficult observations of their own habits and beliefs and supporting each other through the whole process.


Right from day one they showed up ready and willing to make change. Which is more than I could ever have hoped for. It’s one thing to enrol in an online course, it’s an entirely other thing to participate each day, to really throw yourself head first at the lessons and embrace them in your own life.


The women in this first round really feel like close friends now.  And the best part is that the Facebook group remains until the next time I open the course and we can connect on the lessons all over again, so I’m pretty pleased I can duck in and reconnect with these beautiful women whenever I want.


Admittedly everyone fell behind at some point and some are still working to complete the lessons. I don’t think anyone was working to the day for each lesson, but I don’t think that matters either. I really wanted the course to FEEL good.  There is no point doing a course on feeling less overwhelmed, if the course itself just adds to your list of shit you need to do.


I think (and hope) I achieved that.


What worked well!

+ Admittedly I was a little worried about the order of the lessons. I’d put ‘vulnerability’ right up the front, which had the potential to backfire if the group didn’t feel like a safe space to share and no one was prepared to open up.  I’m happy to report though that everyone got on board with this right from the start and shared from the heart. There was no hiding the ugly bits, we laid it ALLL out.


+ I actually think the length was spot on. I’ve definitely crammed a LOT of content into a short space of time, but because there is lifetime access and you can revisit it whenever you want, it makes it a manageable challenge to do an intense 3 weeks and then ease off and catch up as needed.


+ I have to admit, like any circles I run, it is not actually ME who makes the experience. It’s the women who show up.  (Amazingly the right combination always do).  So the mix in this group really were made for each other. There were so many similar struggles and issues, and everyone was prepared to offer advice and help.


What didn’t work as expected.

+ I definitely didn’t do as many Facebook lives in the group as I expected to.  I think I learned my lesson that although January feels like a clean slate with not many plans, it doesn’t actually turn out like that. We had so many last minute things pop up that I wasn’t able to jump in and chat via video as often as I’d like.  I’ve also had a few personal things going down, unwell family members and low energy myself, so I am just giving myself a big ol’ break when it comes to what I expected to do and what actually happened.


+ Minor technical difficulties. A couple of days the emails didn’t go out as planned or in my sleep deprived state I had linked the wrong video.  Thank you to my first round of ladies for being so understanding when these little slip ups happened. It will be completely ironed out by next time!


What they’re saying

The feedback has been phenomenal.  It makes me feel so proud to have created this little space and excited about the potential for round two and beyond. Here’s a little snippet of some of the feedback I’ve received… I’ve left the names off for privacy.


“I have totally fallen behind with the course work, but have been so grateful for this little community. It has felt safe and respectful but most of all loving. Amazing! The course work has certainly highlighted that things need to change in order for me to be a happy healthy me. Thank you Bettina Rae for pouring your heart and soul into this. It is so appreciated xx ”


“I have loved this course and am so glad to have participated! I am most proud of learning to ask people for help. And I’m most amazed by the difference my ‘Love List’ and ‘More List’ have made in my life.”


“This was a really powerful course and I hope to review all the material on a ‘me’ day to organise it all a bit better in my head.  I was really struggling with motherhood, my marriage, my work, myself and I probably will again I’m sure.
But now I have some tools that I picked up through Vive to help me keep the day to day shittiness at just that. A shitty time not a shitty life.

I had some wins with being vulnerable and playful. I love the ‘you can’t give from an empty cup’ analogy. I love the toolbox of quick soul soothers / de-escalators.  I loved the creativity prompting & how it can be incorporated into everyday living, not having to produce something.

And I did love the ‘to do’ goal – three things / day, though that’s a work in progress.  It also felt really freeing to be able to speak so openly on a forum, not knowing anyone but somehow trusting everyone at the same time.

Thanks for kicking 2017 off to a crackin start with me in the race this year.”


“I am planning to hit this 21 day course up again to refresh my mind a bit but I can say that I’m really proud of how I have opened up to my husband and how we have improved our communication, it’s really helped us both understand each other and that we are both going through changes and when we need to discuss something it doesn’t always have to ended up in a huffy argument. I have also really tried to incorporate more “me time” on a daily basis, using the love list when I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed and realising that I need to let go of my perfectionism and by accepting that what I have at the moment is pretty great, it’s all about perspective and gratitude 🙏🏻, it’s helped me enjoy the everyday moments with my kids a bit more. Oh and I do yoga at home with the kids now! I’m really loving that.”


At this stage I plan to open enrolment for round two of VIVE on the 1st April.  If you’re keen to join us, make sure you’re on my mailing list to be the first to know.  (Or shoot me an email at and I’ll pop you on the list).


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