Thoughts on starting school and changing rhythms
2017 already feels like a big year – and we’re only 19 days in.
Eamon is starting school next week. (Currently still in denial about this).
Rory started kindy for the first time a couple of weeks ago. (He is so far proving that second children fare better at this).
I’ve stepped away from my part-time job to give this online yoga space of mine my full attention. (This feels good, though I’m yet to feel more ‘on top’ of anything. Is this an urban myth? I’m hoping this will change once school starts rolling.)
The rhythm of our days and weeks feel like they’re changing rapidly and I haven’t yet caught up to the new beat.
I have mixed feelings about the school thing. Yes I’m referring to it as ‘the school thing’ because I feel somewhat perplexed at the thought that Eamon is already old enough to ‘go to school’. Total denial sure – but at least I can recognise it as such, yes?
I know he will be emotional. Not because he isn’t ready, but because he is my emotional little soul. My over-thinker. Possibly my little mini-me actually – though I’m not sure I’m ready to claim his temper just yet.
In my family, when someone else in the family is crying, you cry too. I’m not sure if it’s hereditary, or whether we’re just all highly emotional, but it’s just how it is. So that pretty much tells you how Monday 23rd is going to go.
I well up just thinking about his little body in that big uniform – and shoes! How will he manage to wear shoes – all day? (We’re also not big on shoes here, if you can’t tell.)
But I’m also excited for the world that is about to open up for him. He has only ever been in care three days max (before Rory was born) and for the last two years has only been in for two days per week. It feels like a really big shift to be going from having almost total influence from us at home, to being away from us for five days a week, for 6 hours a day. To being his own independent little person for all of that time each week.
I can’t wait to hear all about what he learns. This kid seriously has a ridiculous brain and literally soaks up any knowledge that you give him. I swear his memory is near photographic. I’m also looking forward to not being the one who has to argue with him when he is adamant he is right about something, because someone told him something once and therefore it is always the truth. Face palm.
Most of all I am hoping we will all find a better balance to our weeks this year. I know – you seasoned school Mums are probably all laughing and shaking your heads at me right now, thinking I have no idea what I’m in for. And possibly that is the truth – I’ll let you know in a few months time.
I know school is going to be busy. I know I thought the pre-school years were hectic, but that adding the social and extra-curricular stuff just adds another level to the madness. I know it’s going to take a mammoth organising effort on my part to have lunches packed everyday (food prep is my downfall, but something I’m working on). I know that by the end of the week we’re all going to need a big ol’ nap (and perhaps a cry as well).
But there are also positive changes as well.
For the past 5 years (can you believe it’s been that long?!) any writing, filming, editing, creating, etc that has been shared in this little space has been done in snatches of family time. During naps and bedtime predominantly, although sometimes I would get a small window of time while Andrew took the boys to the park or to drive them around in the hope that they would nap.
Now I have exactly 12.5 hours per week that are dedicated child-free time for me to grow this little space. (Can you tell I’ve meticulously counted them?!)
It feels exciting to know that I can map out what I want to create here without having to beg, steal and borrow time, and just pray I can squeeze it in.
It feels good to know that I don’t have to spend every night with the laptop after the boys are in bed in order to make any progress. (Sure I probably still will work some nights, but more like 1 or 2 – and only if I want, rather than my usual 5 or 6.)
Best of all, it feels amazing that I can finally have a switch-off time. I have always felt like I’m continuously switching between the two modes, business stuff and Mum. But with dedicated time, I feel like I can do better at just doing one role at a time and not trying to juggle the two (AKA. doing a shit job at both).
So that’s us at the minute. Trying to find a new rhythm in our weeks. Or at least I’m trying to create one – the boys would just happily float along doing whatever, whenever. Trying to get organised (physically and emotionally for school). Trying to create a better balance between all the things… family time, couple time, individual time.
Have you got back into the rhythm of your year yet? Are you in for big changes too?