Your feelings about infertility don’t have to make sense.

I wasn’t going to write this post. It’s been one of those weeks. My 8 month old has been teething. My husband has been away. It’s been bloody hot.

But I’ve had quite a few similar comments on my Youtube channel, on my blog and in emails and I wanted to address it before I lost the fire on it.

I need you to know this.

Your feelings about infertility don’t have to make sense.

Emotions don’t need to be held up and judged, or compared and you don’t have to justify them to anyone.

Specifically I’m talking about emotions and feelings around infertility and losing babies, but it goes for all feelings really. It could be feelings around relationship breakdowns or your kids, or anything really. Feelings don’t have to make sense!

The comments I’ve been hearing a lot lately have been along the lines of…

+ ‘I feel bad to admit this when there are people a lot worse off than me but I feel…’

+ ‘… I lost a baby at 6 weeks and I feel… but it’s not as bad as your experience because …”

Or worse still when the comments gets into judging others…

+ ‘I don’t understand how you can feel jealousy towards someone who has fallen pregnant or just had a baby, when you already have two healthy kids?!’

But feelings don’t make sense and you don’t have to justify them to anyone to be allowed to feel them!

You are allowed to feel however you want to feel.

Anger

Disappointment

Jealousy

Rage

Sadness

Desperation

Lost

Anguish

In most cases denying the way you feel actually just means you have to suffer with that emotion for longer. If you can let yourself feel it, without judging yourself or needing to have someone else validate it for you, most of the time you’ll be able to move on from that emotion faster.

So can we just all give ourselves a break and stop judging ourselves (and others) for how they feel?! #kthanksbye #endrant

Want to hear more? I made a video on this – feel free to watch it below.