Your body is not broken – how to deal with negative thoughts when you’re struggling to conceive.

struggling to conceive

After losing three babies in 12 months, I felt like my body was broken. Even though I’d previously had two healthy pregnancies and babies, I felt like it must be me. I must be doing something wrong.

This was a really negative mindset to be in. I felt desperate to find the reason why I couldn’t hold a pregnancy and I became obsessed with looking for the answer everywhere. I also remember feeling really lost and confused. Like I had no idea where to even start.

So basically I just ended up feeling incredibly stressed and anxious, which of course just makes trying to conceive even more difficult.

It wasn’t until we took a break from all of it, that I realised why this line of thinking is so negative and how it was affecting how I made choices. (If you prefer to watch the video version of this you can below – and a yoga class to help you shift these negative thoughts.)

Why thinking ‘your body is broken’ is so unhelpful

It makes you feel like ‘Why bother?!’

I know for me this was definitely the case. Because I felt like my body was broken anyway I stopped looking after it. I didn’t eat the right things or I skipped meals altogether, because I just felt like ‘what’s the point.’

It wasn’t until I changed my thinking to focusing on looking after myself to find a better balance for my overall health that I was able to conceive and carry a healthy baby again.

Increases stress

Feeling like my body was broken felt so final and like I had no way of changing this fact. I think many of us get caught in the trap of treating our bodies like machines. We keep pushing and doing and then wonder why we struggle with fertility, which needs optimum health to work properly.

Instead I think we should focus on caring for ourselves like we would a garden. Nurture it and look after it. Make sure it gets the right amount of nutrients and water and sunlight. Don’t let it get stressed out. These are the things that create balance in the natural world and even though we often forget it, our bodies are a part of that natural world as well.

You give away your power around your health

If you think your body is broken you’re going to spend a lot of time looking for someone else to fix you. And you might be willing to give all of your power to someone else to make decisions when it comes to your health.

Of course, I’m not saying you shouldn’t seek help. I just think we need to take on the advice we receive as options not as must-do prescriptions. I think WE need to be the biggest advocate for our own health otherwise we can get lost in the whole experience of trying to have a baby.

For example, if you think your body is broken and end up talking to an IVF doctor you will likely go along with whatever option they present you, rather than asking questions and choosing the least invasive option that is right for you.

Instead of treating your body as broken, I recommend instead focusing on re-creating balance in your body. Learn to trust your body again and move yourself gently towards the best health you can be (which of course is going to result in the best fertility).

New to fertility yoga? You can download my free fertility yoga guide here.


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