Yoga practice and pregnancy.

So after writing the other day over at The Kindred Collective about how I’d really got into the habit of ‘going with the flow’ of this whole motherhood thing and specifically not resisting all the changes that each stage brings (like last time), I’ve caught myself really resenting the changes that are happening in one area of my life…

Yoga.

I feel like I’ve only really ‘found my place’ with yoga this year. If that’s even a thing. And not that I wasn’t enjoying it before, but more that it was very much a solo thing for me before and any progress felt very slow.

This year? I’m teaching in a studio that I love with people who feel like ‘my people’. I have (had) a regular home practice and could really feel the difference. I’ve been doing extra workshops and was even looking into further study.

And then… I started not feeling like myself. Which turned out to be a welcome but surprise pregnancy.

At first the changes to my yoga practice were minimal. Other than the fact that I was more tired than usual, I could still do everything I would usually practice.

But now that I have a substantial bump and get lightheaded from low blood pressure my practice has had to completely change.

I visit child’s pose more regularly. Every pose is modified to make room for an ever-expanding belly. Anything that involves lying on my belly is just not possible and every transition is much much slower.

But the hardest part?

Getting my ego out of the way and being ok that this is my yoga practice now. I have to fight myself out of feeling like I ‘haven’t really practiced’ when I leave a class and I haven’t actually left the floor for any of the standing poses. I need to let go of doing headstands and handstands and forearm stands, because whilst I can still technically do these things, there is more chance of injuring myself and I know the risk isn’t really worth it. So why is it that I still feel the need to resist the change?

I guess it’s because it feels like the start of all the things I know I won’t be able to do for a while. And whilst I can write about the need to surrender to motherhood (and in most areas I have), sometimes I just find it so damn hard to let go when it means I can’t do the things I love anymore.

What about you? Is there something you used to love doing that you miss now that you’re pregnant/ a mother? Did you find yourself resenting the change… even just a little bit?

The tights and tank featured in this post were gifted to me by Queen Bee Maternity (and thank god they did – none of my yoga pants were working for me anymore and I’m not really into #nakedyoga – ain’t nobody who wants to see that!)