Why did my baby die?

If you’re asking yourself ‘why did my baby die?’, whether by miscarriage or stillbirth – then I need you to know…

Your baby didn’t die because you ate the wrong thing.

Or drank too much coffee.

Or had a sip of beer.

You didn’t lose your baby because you worked out too hard.

Or didn’t work out at all.

You didn’t miscarry because you forgot your prenatals.

Or because you didn’t eat anything other than carbs for days.

Or because you couldn’t stomach anything at all.

Your baby wasn’t born still because your body is broken.

Or because you thought negative thoughts

Or because your anxiety has been running rife.

Your baby isn’t gone because you did something terrible in a past life.

Or because of that termination you had.

I wish I could give answers, but in most cases there are none. Just the empty, loneliness of where your baby used to be.

Instead, from someone who has experienced multiple losses, please let me offer you a little hope.

I need you to know…

Eventually, this overwhelming sadness will not be as painful to carry.

You will laugh again. And one day you’ll be able to feel the happiness of that laughter in your bones, despite your baby being gone.

Some day you’ll even be able to hold your sadness and joy in your heart together, at the same time. And you’ll know that in some strange way, the presence of your sadness makes the joy feel even brighter.

In the meantime, you just need to know that you are not alone. We too have been through it. Our hearts hurt with yours and we are here for you. Please reach out if you need.

If you’d like to read more about my experiences with loss and how I found my way back to hope and healing, you can read my book here.

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