When your darkest days show you how supported you really are…
It’s fair to say the last few days have been my darkest. Even after losing Orion I feel like I had a perspective that I don’t have now. Facing it a second time means I feel a new level of helplessness, and hopelessness. There are questions of ‘what if this is just my future now?’. ‘What if this keeps happening, again and again – when do you say – enough?’
It’s a scary dark place and one that I don’t hope to visit for too long.
But if there is one thing that these darkest days have shown me is the amazing support that I have around me, especially from the women in my life.
I wasn’t always a girl’s girl. In high school I definitely would have said I had more male friends, than female. I always felt like I didn’t quite fit with the girls. I found the bitchiness of female friendships when I was younger too much to deal with. (Though I did come out of high school with a special couple of friends who I’m still close to now, so maybe that’s not entirely true).
But right here and now, I feeling incredibly blessed to be surrounded by a powerhouse of women.
From my sister-in-law, who treats my kids as if they were her own, and who was yet again there for us in our darkest moments. While we went to hospital, she kissed and cuddled those boys and made sure they were ok, despite the sadness I’m sure she too must feel (and cleaned my house top to bottom too, might I add).
To my Mum and sister who I know feel every heartache I feel as if it were there own.
To my yoga family who’ve sent so many words of love, card readings for hope and of late night messages just to say ‘we’re thinking of you’.
To the women of my monthly circle who yet again held the space for me in my absence and who sent me their love and support during meditation.
To my extended family who’ve sent me messages of love and words of understanding, those who’ve been through it too, and those who haven’t.
And then there are the hundreds of you who have taken the time to read my words. To feel the pain alongside me. To those of you who have commented or emailed to share your stories, knowing that it would help me. To those of you who wrote just tell me that you stand alongside me.
I don’t know if I can even begin to tell you how powerfully healing those words are.
It makes me cry just thinking about how amazingly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many strong women. It is my hope today that you know how strong you are, how grateful I am for you and that you know to reach out for the support that you need too.
Just a little FYI, I plan to release a book mid-2017 on healing from loss. If you’d like to be the first to know when this book is available or if you’d like to contribute your story, please add your details here.