When to get pregnant after a miscarriage
It’s hard to know when you should try to get pregnant after a miscarriage. Will trying too soon cause another miscarriage? Will waiting too long mean you can’t fall pregnant?
There are often so many unknowns that knowing ‘when’ can feel overwhelming. Today I want to share with you 4 things you should consider when you’re thinking about trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage.
What to consider when you’re trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage
Pregnancy and miscarriage are taxing on the body
You’ve been through a lot. Pregnancy itself takes a lot from our bodies and can often put us in a nutritional deficit. Losing your baby means the loss of a lot of blood (and vital energy), and also usually means a period of time where we likely don’t look after ourselves as well as we should while grieving. Add to this the fact that our bodies are still postpartum and require time to rebalance hormonally, there really is a lot going on.
When considering when to try again after a miscarriage, I always recommend that you take the time (when you’re ready) to work on rebuilding your physical body after a miscarriage. This means replacing the vital nutrients you’ve lost (a naturopath can help you diagnose what you’re missing), but important once are usually iron and B vitamins.
There is no ‘right time’
After my losses I remember googling a variety of these questions…
‘When can you get pregnant after a miscarriage?’
‘Are you more likely to get pregnant after a miscarriage?’
‘When will I get pregnant after a miscarriage?’
Needless to say I never really found the answer that I was looking for because what I was really asking was…
‘When is the right time for me to get pregnant after a miscarriage? How can I control this so that I don’t have to feel this horrific pain again?’
Unfortunately there is no right time. There is no way to guarantee that your next pregnancy won’t end in loss. I wish there was a conclusive answer for that, but there simply isn’t. Trying again after a miscarriage takes hope and courage. It means risking potential heartbreak, however I believe that the great love of a baby is worth anything. (And I guess the fact that you’re reading this article means that you believe it too.)
If this is something that you’re struggling with watch this video below. In it I share how I overcome my hesitation in trying again after miscarriages and how I found my way back to feeling hopeful about future pregnancies.
Give yourself time to emotionally heal
While it is important to focus on repairing the physical body after a miscarriage, I believe it is just important to address your emotional healing as well. If you don’t address this aspect you’ll end up taking all of your sadness, anger and fear into your next pregnancy and that is never a good idea. It will be harder to deal with your anxiety and unprocessed grief once you’re pregnant and those beautiful hormones are raging, so take the time to work on them now, before you start trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage.
Grieving and healing after a miscarriage will look different for everyone. There is no right way to do it. Some things that I found helped included: holistic counselling (talk therapy, energy work, somatic healing), journalling, meditation, yoga, just generally slowing down in life and giving myself time, sharing my heartbreak with others in circle and breath work (rebirth breathing).
If you’re unsure where to start, I’d recommend just picking something and starting there. Remember there is no right way to emotionally heal and all you can do is try. If it doesn’t feel right for you, stop and try something else. If you’d like to work with me privately to heal after a pregnancy loss, please reach out to me via email.
Trust your intuition
Instead of asking google, your doctor, partner, sister or friend for when you should try to get pregnant after a miscarriage I want you to turn inward and ask yourself. Your intuition, that gut feeling in your belly has the answer for you. If you’re unfamiliar with listening to your own knowing and (like most of us) are used to relying on others for advice, it’s time to start listening. Journalling, meditation and starting to be aware of every time your natural reaction is to ask someone else for advice is a good place to start.
If you’d like some journalling prompts to help you, the fourth section of my book is journalling for healing after the loss of a baby. If you’re in Australia you can buy it here, or internationally it is available on Amazon.
Finally I just want to say, I’m sorry that his has been your experience. It is a shitty horribly thing to go through and I’m sending you all my love and hope for your next pregnancy. x