What to include in a miscarriage care package
A couple of days after my second miscarriage one of my friends came round to visit. Most people gave us lots of space at this time, so this particular visit sticks out in my mind.
We sat in somewhat awkward silence with untouched cups of tea in front of us. She hugged me as I cried. She played games with my boys and laughed with them while I sat numb. I’m sure she had words for me, but honestly, I can’t remember a single thing she said to me that day.
But I remember how she made me feel.
Important.
Normal.
Loved.
Like maybe the way I was feeling wasn’t going to be forever.
While I can’t remember what she said to me that day, I do remember what she brought for me. Food. Tea. A cosy blanket. A little statue of a woman praying. Chocolate.
I’d never even considered giving gifts for someone who has had a miscarriage before this. But in that moment it felt so loving and caring and I’ve never forgotten it.
I wanted to compile a list of thoughtful gift ideas here in case someone you love has lost a baby. A gift won’t fix their loss or make the pain any less but it can certainly help them feel loved during this painful time.
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What to put in a miscarriage care package
Food
You can’t go wrong with food. Especially food you’ve lovingly made yourself; whether that be dinners or baked goods. Even if she doesn’t feel like eating, it’s good to have on hand if she has other children (who she probably doesn’t feel like cooking for).
I think it’s worth remembering that even though she hasn’t come home with a baby, her body is postpartum. She needs nourishment and rest to recover just like any woman who has given birth does. Foods that are easy to digest; soups, stews, bone broths, etc are great especially as they help to replace the nutrients lost in pregnancy and through blood loss.
Remembrance statue
A little statue like this is not something that I would ever consider buying myself. But receiving this when I did felt like a beautiful heartfelt gesture. Even now, years later I still often find myself looking at this little statue lovingly. It reminds me that even when you’re going through the worst time, there is always hope.
Jewellery
A simple piece of jewellery to hold the memory of a baby lost makes a beautiful gift. I really love the sentiment and care behind these pieces from Seeded Hope but of course you could choose anything that you think fits with her style.
Journal
It’s no secret that I’ve found journalling one of the most healing practices after each of my losses. Whether she uses it to write out her heart, or just to make lists of things to remember; a journal is a really nice addition to a miscarriage care package.
Books
After each of my losses I found reading and hearing about other women’s experiences incredibly helpful. Because it’s not often spoken about, reading books by others who have been through a miscarriage and come out the other side can be so comforting. This is one of the main reasons why I ended up writing my own book on healing from loss. You can purchase a copy here.
Lush weighted blanket or cozy jumper
A blanket or a jumper is a really nice way of giving her comfort even when you can’t be there. A weighted blanket has the added benefit of the fact that it will help to relieve the anxiety that is often felt after we lose a baby and go through that traumatic experience.
They’re my suggestions for what to put in a miscarriage care package. Honestly though, there are no rules. You know her best. What would make her feel loved and comforted? Whatever that is – add that.