One really simple tool for when you’re struggling with fertility
Today I want to share with you one really simply practice you can use when you’re struggling with fertility. You can use it whenever you feel anxiety or anger, or any other uncomfortable feelings that rise up when you’re trying to conceive but it’s not working out like you’d planned.
Look I’m going to be honest. This little tool is not rocket science. If you’re a yogi (fancy word which just means you practice yoga) then you may already do this without realising it. Or maybe you’ve been doing the physical practice of yoga but you haven’t connected with the power of breath yet. If that’s you, then this video is definitely for you. (You can scroll to the bottom of this post and watch the video version or read on instead.)
I know what it feels like when you’re struggling to conceive. During the 12 months that we experienced three losses, my emotions were up and down and all over the place.
I felt anger at other people who fell pregnant really easily (and don’t even get me started on those who fell accidentally).
I felt anxious and panicky that we’d never have another healthy baby.
I felt bloody exhausted from the stress of it all.
When you’re struggling in this way it can be hard to not put these feelings onto other people. Especially feelings of anger or jealousy. It’s natural to fall into blaming others, but unfortunately (or fortunately) it’s all on us.
We have the power to deal with these emotions but we have to be conscious of the fact that they are ours to deal with.
What’s the one really simple tool for when you’re struggling with fertility?
So the number one thing that I found to deal with the anger or the anxiety when it came up is the breath. We carry it with us everywhere It’s so simple we might overlook it, but don’t be fooled by that.
Whenever you those feelings start to bubble in the body, see if you can take a moment and become aware of your breath. It might be when you feel like a heat rising in the chest, a general discomfort in the body, or when you start looking for distraction.
How to use the breath to deal with difficult emotions
Bring one hand to the belly and one hand to the heart. (If you’re out in public and uncomfortable doing this, you can simply bring your awareness here instead).
Take a deep breath into the belly.
Pause.
Continue your breath in, breathing into the heart.
Pause.
Breathe out of the heart.
Pause.
Breathe the rest of your air out from your belly.
Pause.
Repeat as many times as you need.
When you breathe in try and fill the lungs as much as you possibly can. And as you breathe out, notice the body softening and relaxing. What we are doing with the breath is telling our body that we’re okay. That we don’t need to be stressed and freaking out. That we don’t need to go into fight or flight mode.
We do this because we don’t want our body going into a stress response. This is what happens when we have a strong emotion to the any numbers of triggers that we have in our daily lives when we’re struggling with fertility. Whether it’s a reaction to a Facebook status or a offhand comment someone makes or the arrival of our period. Whenever we feel that anxious, panicky feeling in response to these things, our body thinks we’re in danger.
We use the breath to reverse this stress response and say ‘Hey body, it’s okay. We’re okay. There is no life-threatening situation we need to run from today.’
We want the body to stay out of the stress response so that instead it can focus on digesting our food properly (which aids fertility) and running our healthy reproductive system (all of which it struggles to do when we’re pumping stress hormone around it).
So that’s it.
Like I said, it’s really simple but that’s why it works. You can use it straight away. Hey, maybe even start breathing deeply right now. Even if you’re not in an anxiety spiral right this minute, it helps to practice beforehand so that you’re more likely to remember to use it when you’re freaking out.
After you’ve done a couple of breaths leave me a comment and let me know if it helps. Or what helps you the most when you’re struggling with difficult emotions. Everyone is different.
Before I go, I also wanted to let you know that I am opening up three spots for private yoga therapy sessions with me if you’re looking for more support. It doesn’t matter where in the world you are as we run these via email. You’ll get an individualised tools (videos, audio meditations, and practices) to help with your fertility challenges (because they’re all SO different this really is the most effective way I can work with you).
If you’re interested in working with me in this way, just send me an email.
Sending you love and hope. x