On my heart – November 2020

I’ve been avoiding writing this post for a while. All year actually. I set the goal at the start of this year to get back into writing. “Write bravely” is a post-it that sits on my vision board and one I’ve (mostly) ignored all year.

While I’ve admittedly not been being lazy and its been a bit of a bonkers year – it’s also just a matter of priorities right? I’ve put everything (and everyone) else first.

While I love all the other creating I’ve done this year – Youtube mostly, but also yoga teacher trainings, manuals, meditations, etc. Writing is my first love and is something that I really want to get back to.

Yes, there have been sporadic blog posts here this year. Most of them have been informational pieces to go with my yoga videos. Helpful, yes. Inspiring, not so much.

Way back in 2012, I started this blog as a place where I could connect with other Mums, other women just like me. In the endless, solo days with a newborn, this blog gave me something to focus on that helped me remember who I was outside of being a bum-wiper, and constant food-maker.

As my days have changed again and again, through moving house, separation, more babies, losses, breakdowns and rainbows; this blog (and the beautiful people who still visit here) have been my constant support. My heart is proud and grateful that my work is now about giving back, by creating classes and practises to help other women.

Yet I also feel like something is missing. I have been missing from this space. Sure, there is the fact that ‘personal blogging’ is apparently dead and all that… but I MISS having this outlet to write about what is happening here and now in MY own life.

I want to create yoga classes… but I also want to tell you that it’s been a big unsettling year for us and I’m still struggling to find my feet in this new place.

I want to share snippets of our life on Instagram… but I also want to write a long form piece about how incredibly fun it is to have older children (something I forgot to dream about when we started having babies).

I want to share stories of my kids doing crazy boy things that drive me mental… but I also want to talk about what it’s like being the only female in a household of men and wondering if you’re actually doing a really shit job of being a feminist after all.

I want to write about fertility, and loss, pregnancy, and birth and postnatal recovery… but I also want to write about my experiences in the here and now. With three rapidly growing boys and a business working with women in some of their darkest moments, and sharing in their absolute joy as well.

If you’re still reading here, thank you. I’ll be back. I have so much to tell you. x