Being a mother is enough.

being a mother is enough

Being a mother is enough. I really have to remind myself of this regularly. And no I don’t mean that in the way that we shouldn’t want things for ourselves outside of motherhood, because lord knows I would go insane if that were the case.  Nor do I think that is even possible, because every Mother is a woman first, isn’t she?!   I mean being a mother is enough  in the way that we manage the expectations we have for our days.

 

Some days it comes easily.  Some days I am content to flow through the day, playing, tidying up only as it works depending on what Eamon is doing, not trying to anything that would be considered ‘my stuff’ until he goes to bed, not expecting a day nap and moving as slow as Eamon wants to go.

 

It’s funny how much easier life is when you aren’t trying to make a toddler fit with your plans for the day, isn’t it? I know the frustration for me always starts when I start planning to get things done.  Even just regular around the house stuff like sweeping or making beds can quickly turn into a battle.  Let alone if I dare open a laptop and try and do some blogging, or heaven forbid, try and sew something!

 

But it’s not logistically possible for me to do everything when he is not around or asleep, nor is that something I want to teach him.  I want him to learn that there is time for us to play, time for us to get stuff done around the house (and that he needs to help), and also that there needs to be time for me to do the things I want to do as well. That I’m am a woman who has her own things going on as well as his Mother.

 

Like I said, some days it all goes well. He occupies himself doing a little bit of his own thing, while I do mine.  He actually listens when I ask him to do something for me and we make it bedtime and I feel like I’ve finally worked this motherhood thing out.

 

Then there are days like yesterday when there was a battle of wills over things he usually even likes to do! Everything felt like a struggle and I felt like I was going backwards for most of the day rather than forwards.  To the point that even the smallest thing I did, like moving a pair of shoes, was met with “no Mummy, they go there!” And he would move them back.

 

But while I could blame Eamon’s particularly naughty opinionated mood for why I made it to bedtime wondering why the hell I was adding another one to the mix, the truth is, a lot of it was to do with me.

I was the one who planned to get out of the house before 9 and was frustrated by his total objection to getting dressed.

I was the one who had a list of things I planned to get done when he napped and so spent 3 hours trying to make a nap happen.

I was the one who just wanted to sit and not move, and should be unsurprised when my incredibly active 2 year old boy didn’t want to do the same and so got into everything he could.

 

And so yesterday was a day that I had to remind myself that being a mother was enough. That I needed to not expect to get anything else done other than looking after Eamon because it was my expectations that were creating my frustration.

 

I dare say this is something I will be having to tell myself more often soon as we learn how to get through our days with a newborn and a toddler. I’ve promised myself this time I will surrender more and resist less, and letting go of expectations of what our days will look like is probably the first step.

 

Do you have to remind yourself that being a Mother is enough? How do you manage your expectations of your days with little ones so that you don’t end up a frustrated mess!?

5 Responses to “Being a mother is enough.

  • Heather
    7 years ago

    Oh how this exact thought floated in my head this past week, my husband got it and I got it, my son did not, but he did come down with a bad cold. We were devoid of ANY energy and him…..well he is five so I think that may explain it. I had to breath and tell myself that it was ok if he was upset when mommy or daddy needed to lay down for a bit to rest and it was OK if he was mad that we couldn’t play with him ALL DAY.
    It is really hard because you don’t want to see your child upset.

    • littleoldsouls@hotmail.com
      7 years ago

      I think it’s good for them to have to wait and to see that parents are human too, not just there to serve their every need. (Though I agree – the tantrums are hard to witness at times!)

  • With me working four days a week, Jarvis has been extra extra clingy. So no sewing is getting done. I only ever use the computer during nap time or once he is in bed. But normally he will let me sew and sit beside me painting of playing with fabric and buttons and such. But yesterday was a struggle. I even yelled at Justin “when do I ever get any me time?”. But then after I did this, Jarvis came up to me and said “hug Mumma, me love you”. And I thought me is with my children and my children make me.
    Everything else can wait

    • littleoldsouls@hotmail.com
      7 years ago

      It’s a constant flip between the two isn’t it. I do the same. One minute I want space to do my own thing, the next I want him right beside me.

  • Housewife in Heels
    7 years ago

    Being a mother is MORE than enough!!! I have a lot of help (au pair, cleaner etc.) and am SAHM and still feel constantly on. I find life is easiest when my plans revolve around the boys vs trying to get them to fit into my schedule. I wish you all the best with the impending birth. It is so exciting! My baby is 7 weeks tomorrow and seems like a giant already 🙂

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