Being a mother is enough.

Being a mother is enough. I really have to remind myself of this regularly. And no I don’t mean that in the way that we shouldn’t want things for ourselves outside of motherhood, because lord knows I would go insane if that were the case.  Nor do I think that is even possible, because every Mother is a woman first, isn’t she?!   I mean being a mother is enough  in the way that we manage the expectations we have for our days.

Some days it comes easily.  Some days I am content to flow through the day, playing, tidying up only as it works depending on what Eamon is doing, not trying to anything that would be considered ‘my stuff’ until he goes to bed, not expecting a day nap and moving as slow as Eamon wants to go.

It’s funny how much easier life is when you aren’t trying to make a toddler fit with your plans for the day, isn’t it? I know the frustration for me always starts when I start planning to get things done.  Even just regular around the house stuff like sweeping or making beds can quickly turn into a battle.  Let alone if I dare open a laptop and try and do some blogging, or heaven forbid, try and sew something!

But it’s not logistically possible for me to do everything when he is not around or asleep, nor is that something I want to teach him.  I want him to learn that there is time for us to play, time for us to get stuff done around the house (and that he needs to help), and also that there needs to be time for me to do the things I want to do as well. That I’m am a woman who has her own things going on as well as his Mother.

Like I said, some days it all goes well. He occupies himself doing a little bit of his own thing, while I do mine.  He actually listens when I ask him to do something for me and we make it bedtime and I feel like I’ve finally worked this motherhood thing out.

Then there are days like yesterday when there was a battle of wills over things he usually even likes to do! Everything felt like a struggle and I felt like I was going backwards for most of the day rather than forwards.  To the point that even the smallest thing I did, like moving a pair of shoes, was met with “no Mummy, they go there!” And he would move them back.

But while I could blame Eamon’s particularly naughty opinionated mood for why I made it to bedtime wondering why the hell I was adding another one to the mix, the truth is, a lot of it was to do with me.

I was the one who planned to get out of the house before 9 and was frustrated by his total objection to getting dressed.

I was the one who had a list of things I planned to get done when he napped and so spent 3 hours trying to make a nap happen.

I was the one who just wanted to sit and not move, and should be unsurprised when my incredibly active 2 year old boy didn’t want to do the same and so got into everything he could.

And so yesterday was a day that I had to remind myself that being a mother was enough. That I needed to not expect to get anything else done other than looking after Eamon because it was my expectations that were creating my frustration.

I dare say this is something I will be having to tell myself more often soon as we learn how to get through our days with a newborn and a toddler. I’ve promised myself this time I will surrender more and resist less, and letting go of expectations of what our days will look like is probably the first step.

Do you have to remind yourself that being a Mother is enough? How do you manage your expectations of your days with little ones so that you don’t end up a frustrated mess!?