How to make your home feel like a sacred space (rather than a s**t fight!)

sacred space


“Ahhh look how pristine my home is…”  said no mother ever.


Once upon a time (as in…  before your babies and children existed) you probably walked through the door and found yourself sighing in relief.



The place where you can completely relax.

Your sacred space.


Now you probably wrestle your way into the house, with a child hanging off one hip, while yelling at another one to hurry up, meanwhile losing circulation in all your fingers for all the grocery bags you are carrying. (Tell me it’s not just me who refuses to take two trips even if I lose a finger to loss of circulation!?)


As you get inside you drop everything on the first clear surface you can find and find yourself sighing (with resentment, overwhelm, frustration, all of the above…) at the crumbs, toys and other unidentifiable objects that lay strewn all over the floor, the pile of dishes that seem to permanently fill your sink and the overflowing washing basket and piles of clothes that never seem to find their way back into wardrobes.


Nowadays it probably feels more like a shit fight than a sacred space. Am I right?!


I get it.  Mine too.


But here’s the thing.  When my house looks like a bomb, I tend to feel like one.  A ticking, time-bomb that could explode at any moment.  I get frustrated and let’s face it, a whole-lot cranky.


So I started doing a couple of things that have helped to make my home feel more like the sacred space I remember from pre-children.


Hire a cleaner

Once a fortnight I have a beautiful lady come in to restore my sanity by cleaning my bathroom, mopping my floors and wiping the various little finger prints off every surface.

Yes we do the mad pre-cleaner tidy up before she arrives (mostly because I’m cheap and don’t want to pay her to pick up stuff, I’d rather pay her to do the scrubbing that I’d never get to otherwise).


Indoor plants

They say indoor plants are good for your mood because they purify the air and help you feel better. I don’t know if that’s true but I do know they make me happy when I look at them.


And weirdly they remind me to drink water which is never a bad thing. When their sad droopy leaves remind me that I’ve forgotten to water them, I remember that this is how I feel as well and give them a drink while also getting myself one. Weird I know, but hey, I’m not complaining.


Light scented candles.

Even when there are crumbs all over the place and toys strewn from one end of the house to the other, my house smells clean. At the very least I can close my eyes and pretend its clean!


Stick to a time limit

Nothing makes you feel worse than picking up all day and it still feeling like a bomb (because let’s face it unless you take the children out of the house they’re only going to undo everything you do.) So I stick to a 1 hour time limit max for cleaning/ laundry/ house stuff and do only that for an hour and then I’m done.  No walking around the house all day putting things back – because all that get’s you is… tired (and feeling like a slave to the house).


Make one sacred space of your own

As a Mum you can start to feel like nothing is your own. First they invade your body,  they insist on sharing your food,  they steal your bed, you even visit the toilet with an audience and no matter how hard you try, every single inch of your home becomes theirs; strewn with multicolour plastic and covered in sticky fingers.

Which is why it’s so important to carve out one sacred space that can be yours and yours alone. It might be as simple as your bedside table. Create a space there that you love – a candle or beautiful lamp, your jewellery, a book or journal.  Or if you’re a bit on the crunchy side maybe you have a few crystals and oracle cards too.


So I hope that gives you some ideas for ways you can start to make your home feel a bit more like the sacred space it used to be… and if all else fails, remember the shit storm won’t last forever.


6 Responses to “How to make your home feel like a sacred space (rather than a s**t fight!)

  • I love this. Although mine are teens I sometimes feel like I’m stuck in Groundhog Day. So sorry don’t expect much to change just yet. Only advantage is they can help carry the shopping in and take the rubbish out! And they don’t come to the bathroom with you (And you can leave them on their own for short periods of time 😊)

  • Sally Taghaode
    8 years ago

    Great post Bettina and so true. Lots of advice says to ignore the cleaning etc when you have a young bub but that’s not helpful if the chaos makes you feel crazy! Love the idea of scented candles and a sacred space, already on board with a fortnightly cleaner!

  • LOVE! You are totally inside my head as to how I feel when I walk out the door, and when I arrive home. How cool that indoor plants remind you to drink water!! So many great tips. Thanks for sharing

    • Bettina Rae
      8 years ago

      You’re welcome! A bit weird i know – but hey whatever works.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *