First impressions of our own making
Don’t feel sorry for me. There still was a lot of love at problogger. Photo courtesy of @katie180.
I’m sure you’ve all been there. You’re at a social occasion and you don’t really know many people, so you look around for someone new to talk to. Yet everyone seems so engrossed in their own conversations that you don’t know how you would even join the conversation without being completely awkward. Or maybe you do try to approach someone and the first impressions you get from them leaves you feeling like they’d rather eat their shoe than have to talk to you any longer.
Which got me thinking…
How much are our first impressions based purely on our own shit; our own insecurities and issues, rather than what the other person actually thinks?
This was me at problogger last weekend. Yes, in comparison to last year I felt way more comfortable and mostly got over my feeling of being a very small fish. But there were still a couple of people who I would’ve loved to talk to, but I just couldn’t get over the feeling of being that little bit irrelevant to them. Like somehow the fact that my blog has a small following compared to theirs somehow makes me less worthy to talk to? I told myself they seemed a bit standoffish, that they weren’t interested in talking to anyone other than those in their clique niche.
But really, I have no idea what they were really like. Maybe they did just have resting bitch faces and all of my impressions of them were based purely on my feelings of inadequacy.
So then I was thinking (it’s funny how much thinking you get done when you don’t have a little person around to think for) … how many times do we do this is real life as well? How often do I waste opportunities to connect with people because my impressions of them is negative but only because of my own issues?
And then the real question… How the hell do you get over doing that? How do you stop listening to your own insecurities and just take people as they are; resting bitch face and all?
Bettina, I think as you get older you care less about what the world thinks of you and more about what your purpose on this planet is. There is a confidence in knowing your purpose. I have realised that while I feel uncomfortable in new situations, I am on my own path with my family – some days walking confidently in a watch out world kind of way, and then other days, I feel quite and a little uncertain but focused on my goals for the day. Meeting new people can be terrifying, or should I say intimidating, but you have to remember that we are all on a different journey but we all have the same idea – we love blogging. We are all at different places in our journey. Love your work! xo
Thanks Sarah, I think that’s so true. And remembering that we’re all at different stages helps when we get a bad case of comparison-itis! If only I can remember this when I need it. x
Resting bitchy face strikes again!
I totally get you…I felt a lot more comfortable this year but there were still a few people that I didn’t talk to…even though I saw them and could have spoken to them.
Maybe next year!
Agreed. One more year and I’ll be walking up to everyone – ha! No, not sure I’ll even make next year. I can’t imagine doing it with a 6 month old!
I’m on the other side of this one. I’ve just had a semester of recording lectures for an online course and have come to the realisation that I have bitchy talking face (or awful smell up my nose talking face). I’m horrified – I mean, is that what I’ve looked like talking for all my life??? Now I’m thinking maybe this is why people don’t approach me. Blerg. Insecurities all round.
Don’t worry, I think I come off that way too, a little too serious at times!
Ha, I am the worst/last person to ask. At least you were secure enough to GO!
xxx you should come along next year.